bad timing.
Today has been just such a… bland day. Is that even the word I’m looking for?
I was supposed to work all day. First 7-3 at the Hotel and then 4-Close at the Salon. I literally have not had one single second to myself for the last month. Between working at the hotel, my internship, working at the Salon and doing extra curricular activities (like helping my mom plan baby showers, room swap, help friends book a million rooms, etc.), I’m beginning to think that I’m slowly killing myself. I am always exhausted. I took the liberty of calling off at the Salon today. I came home and my mom looked at me and goes, “Oh jesus, Kris. You have such dark rings around your eyes.” With that, I looked at her nodded and went to my room and slept until 9pm.
I woke up to some good-not-so-good-but-awesome news.
Abbey is moving back home! (That’s the awesome news.)
This is very, very exciting and amazing however the timing is not the greatest. My mother booked me a flight for my birthday to visit Miss Abbey from November 5-11th in Los Angeles. I was looking forward to the visit. I LOVE Los Angeles (and the state of California as a whole.) I needed this little getaway. —My flight is non-refundable.
I still considered going, however if I get a hotel room on my employee discount for the week, it’ll run me $260ish.—Not entirely awful, but considering I’m running a little dry in the cash flow area, it’s not possible. Therefore, my plane ticket just might have to go un-used. I was thinking of talking to Delta representatives to see if I can choose a different destination… but I’m not sure I’ll have luck in that area.
Happy Birthday, Kris.
Anybody want to go to California for a week?
I need this in my life, stat.
patience.
let’s just put it all behind us and move on, shall we?
i do not like this wall that has been built between us.
patience, patience, patience.
i’m crossing my fingers, it’ll pass.
(via justbesplendid)
stairwell.
I feel as though sometimes people get caught up in their own world to realize what is happening around them. It’s not always a bad thing. I understand that people’s lives can get incredibly hectic. I understand everybody has their own shit going on. I’m not one to judge (normally) and I will never discriminate. I’m a firm believer that if someone wants to talk about what’s going on in their life, then it’s up to them to come out and talk about it. I don’t pry nor do I dwell. However, when they step outside of this “bubble” and feel as if they’ve been shunned away and point the finger at someone else without even addressing the real issue, it tends to get a little out of hand. Nobody can help if you bottle up emotions and pretend like everything is okay, especially when you won’t say anything to anybody or you hold onto it for so long that people do not notice there is a problem. I have to say that I was right, I hate to say it. I just don’t get it. If you have something you need to say to me, say it at the moment you want to say it. Don’t hold it in and wait forever to tell me. I try to be the best person that I possibly can be and I’ll be the first to tell you I am NOT perfect. I know I’m not and I never claimed to be. Usually, if I know I’m in the wrong, I will come forward and talk about it. I am not taking full responsibility for something I know that I didn’t intentially do. God forbid if I screw up, I cannot live it down and people never forget. My family and friends are most important to me. So much has happened in the last few weeks that it’s enough to make me want to crawl in a hole and stay there forever. But I’m stronger than that. I just wish some people realized that when I say I’m sorry, I mean it.
:)
The last couple of days have been great.
Yesterday morning, I was offered a contributing position at The Buffalo News (writing for Buffalo.com) which is unpaid but a step into the right direction. I have free reign over what I want to write about and what shows I’d like to cover. I meet with a representative sometime before I leave for Bamboozle… or depending on how things go, when I get home from Bamboozle.
I went to Toronto last night with Courtney and we hung out with my friend Steve. Gave us the hook up, it was a blast. My car died in the parking lot just before the show again. I really have to get a new battery because whenever I charge my phone or something for a certain amount of time, the battery goes dead. We got jumped before the show this time thanks to some super nice dudes in the line. We then were on a mission to find Steve. Told me to meet him at the bus.. chatted a bit before he had to round up the HU dudes for interviews. Which we found out later on they have DIFFERENT masks for interviews and performances. (Wait til you see the picture of Courtney and I wearing the masks.. Steve isn’t aware we were playing around. lolz). We made friends with some other dudes in the line (whom loved us and bought us drinks all night until we skipped out on them to hang out with Steve —Oops!) Made friends with a chill dude named Patrick in the parking lot when my car died… he’s a pretty rad dude. We hung out all night… went and got food with our other friend, Rob. Stand up dudes, fo sho. After the show we helped Steve load out and then had to say goodbye because they were driving to Buffalo to catch a SUPER early flight to Arizona for a one off with Korn. I’m super excited to see everyone again next week. Left Phoenix to go to Opera House to go visit with Laura. Super nice seeing her. It was a nice ending to the night.
On another note, I closed my 401K (that I my last job enrolled me in without my discretion!). At closing I had $300.08 in there. NYS taxes everything so the rough estimate is about $260 I’ll be getting in the mail. I’m super stoked about closing it because it’s like getting paid for free… or I could consider this my bonus… from my old job…
I cannot wait for Philly and Bamboozle to see all my wonderful friends.
Now it’s time to get ready for work…
jealousy can't hold me over.
I’m sick of being the rule, I want to be the exception.
wallflower.
“…i’m not here, no one sees me — wallflower
i’m by myself, please excuse me
but there you were, standing in your own corner
your eyes were wide, tired, fading just like mine
we could be the best of friends i’m sure of it
but i’m too shy to cross this crowded room besides
wallflower
i’m not here, no one sees me — wallflower
i’m by myself, please excuse
me help me leave this corner of the room
i’m reaching out to you
cause i’ve got things i could talk to you about
we could be wallflower friends
to the end — wallflower friends
to the end, i’m sure of it
wallflowers
we’re not here, no one sees us — wallflowers
we’re together please excuse us”
-‘Wallflower’ by Priscilla Ahn
